Month: January 2021

Posted on

♫ If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over this land
I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer out a warning
I’d hammer out love between
My brothers and my sisters, ah-ah
All over this land ♫

(Also, if any of you become millionaires from GameStop stocks, The Nudie Mag does accept donations)

Thanks again to @weepy.peepers and hammering man

Posted on

One issue that won’t go away with the new administration is the deplatforming of sex workers (and we nudie mags that get caught up in the crossfire).

The intentions may be good, but those good intentions would be better served by taking sex work out of the shadows and out of the hands of traffickers and other bad guys.

As they sang in The Simpsons:

♫ You could close down Moe’s,
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield’s in
Our Maison Derrière!
(music starts)
Belle:
We’re the sauce on your steak,
We’re the cheese in your cake,
We put the “Spring” in Springfield.
Dancing Girl 1:
We’re the lace on the nightgown,
Dancing Girl 2:
The point after touchdown,
Belle and Dancing Girls:
Yes, we put the “Spring” in Springfield.
Belle:
We’re that little extra spice
That makes existence extra-nice,
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price.
Reverend Lovejoy:
Our only major quarrel’s
With your total lack of morals.
Dancing Girl 3:
Our skimpy costumes ain’t so bad,
Dancing Girl 4:
They seem to entertain your dad!
Belle and Dancing Girls:
The gin in your martini,
The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the
(Belle flicks Bumblebee Man’s antenna)
In Springfield!
Chief Wiggum, Krusty, and Seymour Skinner:
We remember our first visit,
Mayor Quimby:
The service was exquisite!
Martha Quimby:
Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor Quimby:
Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa and Jasper:
Without it we’d have had no fun
Since March of 1961!
Bart:
To shut it down now would be twisted,
Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney:
We just heard this place existed!
Dancing Girls:
We’re the highlights in your hairdo,
Apu:
The extra arms on Vishnu,
Dancing Girls:
So don’t take the
(Barney opens a Krusty-in-the-box)
Mob:
We won’t take the
(Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
Everyone:
Yes, let’s keep the
(Moe crashes two garbage can lids together)
In Springfield! ♫

Thanks again to @cj_kittyxx and @thedahliamaddison

Posted on

After many, many years, the Giving Tree’s stump washed away into the sea, where she faced sharks and pirates and all kinds of dangers, until she eventually washed up on a beach many, many miles from where she began.

One day, she saw some people walking on the beach, and called over to them.

“Come – I haven’t got much left to give, but if you’d like you could sit next to me, and climb up on me, and take beautiful nudie pictures with me.”

The people agreed that the stump would be a lovely spot to take photos, and so they did, and in that moment, they were all happy.

Thanks again to @brittnieslife and Shel Silverstein

Posted on

When you come across some deer in the wild, you must walk slowly and quietly so that you don’t frighten them and make them run away. If you’re lucky, you might get close enough to get a nice picture with them.

At the same time, though, don’t get too close, or try to feed or pet them, because they are wild animals that can hurt you, and if they become too accustomed to people, they can be hurt by us.

Just enjoy the beauty of the moment while it lasts

Thanks again to @mistressofmagik, @francesca.over.here / @francesca.outside, @astraltheexplosion and all the deer